Hello? Hello, Jesus?

Making the Case for Border Security:

[Jessica Simposon] is in no hurry to have children but plans to adopt, as she actually tried to do at age 16 after visting an orphanage in Mexico with her church group. "That's what I wanted for my birthday," she says. "But I couldn't legally get a baby across the Mexican border."

Good Show For The Old Man

Putting Huseby Mountain Farm outta business.

Big Papi and Mr. Burns

AJ got popped

It's a good feeling when your irrational distaste for an athlete is made legitimate by the fact that he is generally hated by most who play his sport. This made me happy:

Things that will happen this weekend (please rank in order of probability)

1. LeBron scores 45 plus tonight
2. Cavs win tonight
3. Barry ties Babe
4. G Gets arrested
5. San Antonio wins tonight
6. San Antonio wins the series
7. Bruce and Natty meet for some pick-up
8. Natty beats Bruce
9. I wear the Duff Beer Man costume on Sunday
10. Scrodes brothers make it to SF for Bay to Breakers

My order:
1. I wear the Costume
2. Cavs win tonight
3. San Antonio wins tonight
4. Lebron scores 45 plus
5. G gets arrested
6. Barry ties Babe
7. Bruce and Natty meet for pickup
8. Natty beats Bruce
9. San Antonio wins series
10. Scrodes brothers make it to SF for Bay to Breakers

A funny thing happened on my way to work today

I was running quite late this morning. Usually I catch the bus around 8:45, but today it was more like 9:30. Still, my commute began the way it does most days: by looking for an open seat next to the skinniest and most unassuming passenger possible. The #9 wasn’t terribly crowded, so I found this spot quite quickly. But right as I’m about to plop myself down next to the vanilla looking young lady with the desired eating disorder (less food for you, more seat for me!), I hear an exceptionally chill voice say, “you can sit here if you want.” And holy sweet Sweet Life, if it isn’t the Funk Nasty himself. Of course, my immediate instinct was to make sure K’Boobs wasn’t piloting this chariot, in the off chance I’d been caught in some sort of JV soccer time warp. (If that had been the case, rest assured I would have seized upon the opportunity to put a cleat in Bob Hammond’s eye.) But no, this was the real thing. Natty Loves in the flesh and on his way to work a mean, rainy day double at Lochover’s restaurant. Sadly, we were only able to catch up for a few minutes, because he had to make a route switch shortly after our chance meeting. However, he is now in possession of my business card and within jogging distance of my residence, so there’s a good chance we will meet again. Cool, huh?

Ps: I bumped into Erin Casey on Newbury St. in similarly random fashion a few weeks ago. (We still haven’t shared conversation since freshman year English.)

Pps: For the record, Nathaniel says if reunion tourney games happen before 3, he’ll be there.

Fun with Google Fight

Ply vs. Stinger
Milk vs. Cup
Scrodes vs. Mary Lee
Manny vs. Sharon
RPS vs. LTS
Byron Evans vs. Vincent Riendeau
Shlins vs. Roch
CC Pride vs. Irony

Add on...

We Have A Winner

Best Link I've Gotten All Year

Tito

Asked about Youkilis' nickname, "Euclis, the Greek God of Walks", manager Terry Francona remarked, "I've seen Youkilis in the shower, and I wouldn't call him the Greek god of anything."

Do NOT anger the beast

The beast will eat your children.

As an aside, paragraph structure in journalism fascinates me. Ply, can you tell me why such brilliant one-liners as "And they aren't going to take it any more." and "Not once." and "At least." warrant their own damn paragraphs? Is their rhyme or reason to this madness?

We will wait for the official report

From Peter King's column (again):

"The Arizona Republic reported that Matt Leinart's post-draft party, held last Tuesday at the nightclub Pure at Caesar's Palace in Las Vegas, featured Paris Hilton dancing seductively next to Leinart on a white leather bed -- the paper's phraseology, not mine -- and "an all-girl band wearing black bras and leather boots swing from the ceiling on red feather boas.''

Also, New York's highest paid gardener.

Calendar

Following up on Louis' message last week, does the 3rd of July work for everybody to have the basketball tournament? I say 4pm, leaving time for the beach, but early enough so we can have some post-games beers (on my porch if you want) before the sun sets. How about a role-call of who's still in:

Stephen King in EW article Summer Hits & Misses

"I have to add one sleeper pick . . . Snakes on a Plane, driven mostly by Internet chatter, will be this summer's Blair Witch Project (without, perhaps, the critical cachet). The only thing that could hold it back is if the movie is so horrible it—how shall I say this?—bites itself in the foot. And still, the opening-weekend grosses may be the best in the history of August."

Twenty-One!

Well, it's a big day for the Scrodes Boys. The last one of us is legal. That's right: it's Grant's 21st birthday. Right now, he's in Vegas. YAYAYAYAYY!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY GRANT! His plans tonight are, quite seriously, better than all of our 21st birthday plans combined. I would share more details but we should all wait for the blog post - it will be epic. Kind of like the celebration that started last night for him in Vegas, which will continue straight through the summer as he lives at our house unsupervised. But I digress. I'll paraphrase Michael Jackson on the Simpsons to finish things off:

G it's your birthday
Happy birthday G
You gave me the gift of a little brother
Not to mention "Milk and Cup"

(That's an Ice Hockey joke)

P.S. Sam, G's in college

Sox

YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

Pats

From Peter King's MMQB:

And one final note from [Mike] Shanahan about Laurence Maroney. "I loved him," Shanahan said. "I think the Patriots got a steal. An absolute steal. I think he's going to be the best back in the league."